I must admit that I admire those around me who are focused and driven...on ONE goal. To have that focus on one thing they really love, need, enjoy. That's a beautiful thing. I am focused and driven myself....but towards, oh, about a million things, it seems. And that is my ultimate conundrum...which direction do I take, what adventure do I choose, when I want to do them all?
Sometimes, I really try to get super-focused, making lists, organizing calendars, pinpointing with laser accuracy on "just" what I want at the moment. Only, the moment doesn't last long at times.Other times, I try to flow like water, seeing where life takes me from moment to moment on my journey, trying to be open and receptive to all the amazing things that could happen at any moment, if only I am willing to accept it. Usually, when I'm like this, amazing things DO happen. But then, I get too many things going and I get stuck in the mud.
Oh, and of course, there are the "sparklies" as I like to call them - those ideas, objects, thoughts that just catch the peripheral of your eye and shout "me! me! me!" It's sooooo easy to stop on your journey and spend too much time on all these "sparklies" which may be fun, but take you away from the main destination on your journey.
In the end, I have no answer to this in my own life. I've been the type of gal who likes to do too much since I was a child and the decisions were to play with legos, go stare up at clouds, fingerpaint, or plan a mud empire in the flowerbed. I'm still the same way, I just don't tend to take the time to cloud-gaze as much as I should!One thing I am trying to do is to slow down a bit each day, enjoy the details (and joys) of the days, even the simple or harried ones, and realize that
1. I CAN'T do everything. So, don't even try cause it'll just piss me off!
2. Enjoy and be grateful for what I DO accomplish. Easy to write down, hard to do at times. But, I'm trying and that's something, right?
As this weekend comes, and I will be busy with birthday parties and Easter and housework and an art business, I will try to remember to slow down and just pick one direction at a time...or at least to enjoy the view a little bit more! Happy weekend!
2 comments:
I'm totally like that, too. And it's so hard for me to make a decision because I want to do too many things, and I want to make the "best" decision, even when there isn't necessarily a clear "best".
I suppose one good thing is I'll never be bored. :-)
I read this post a couple of days ago and it has haunted me. So many of your posts express similar things in my life or experience but this one sings! I have spent my life jumping from one thing to the next. I have one friend who knew in college (Freshman year!) that she wanted to be a child psychologist - and she is. I on the other hand have a BS in biology, spent 12 years as a commercial photographer and I'm now a mom and artist/crafting nut! I was always an artist/crafting nut, though. Through college and my photography career I have gained new insights. I'm sure I looked like someone who had it "all together" but I could never find enough time to try all the things I wanted to try. I have journals of things to make or processes to try. I look back at them and they bring new ideas forward - this is great when you feel creatively blocked. I guess I have always felt that each distraction, if you follow it, will lead you back around. If you get bogged down, leave it. Move on. You will come back with new perspectives and the work you move on to, will carry forward the unfinished project. Enjoy the web of it. I love my girlfriend dearly but she is a bit one dimensional sometimes.
Hazel is going to have such fun growing up with you as her mommy :)
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