Finding The Peace Within

Our family is one of the MANY in our area that have been hit with a nasty stomach flu virus. We've been dealing with it since Sunday night, with our littlest Hazel being the hardest hit with her sensitive little stomach. All these long slow days at home cuddling on the couch has shown a hidden blessing - quiet. calm. peace.

During one of her naps, I was feeling well enough to go down to the studio for a bit and play around. I didn't have a lot of particulars in my head when I made this except for that I wanted it to be bright, colorful, to celebrate life! So, colorful and bright it is!

But can't we all use a little bright happy joyful peace in our days now and then?

Light at the end of the tunnel

To steal a quote often-used by a friend (and a common song lyric), "what a long, strange trip it's been." This has been a long winter, and I'm not just talking about the weather! So many friends, family, and strangers have remarked about how they can't WAIT for winter to be over, and for a little light, love and warmth to come our way. I couldn't agree more. And whereas, it is now officially spring in this part of the world, the ice needing to be chipped away this morning didn't really make it "feel" too springy.

But, I look out my window and see our little bunch of daffodils standing as golden sentinels against the grey morning and I feel a little warmth. I can see the tiniest of buds on the wisteria vine and atop the lilac bush, and I can almost smell their wonderful scent I will soon enjoy. I see the faintest blue patch break through the week long torrent of gray and rain and I try to soak up every ounce of that warmth and sun before it disappears again. And I try to tell myself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel - a warm loving light that will usher in long sunny days, trips to farmers markets for fresh grown produce, long nights outdoors in warm summer air, bike rides along bluffs with bright blue rivers beneath, and smiles and hope on everyone's faces. I mean, that's what Spring is all about, isn't it? New life, hope, renewal. All I can say is "let's get on with it, already!"

Art is a Band-Aid for the Soul

I taught a private Encaustic Painting Class last night, and might I just declare to the world what a FABULOUS time it was. Three lovely ladies celebrated their friends' birthday with an evening of art! And while they might have thought the gift was for their friend, I must also admit, it was also for me. I had been so engrossed with the SE Artwalk and then life in general, that I just simply didn't have anything left for art lately. Yes, I sewed and crafted a bit, I cooked - I was creative in other outlets. But, I needed to make art. I just didn't know it until last night.

These women were fun, feisty, and unabashed at making their mark with color and texture! I loved the energy in the room as we all got together and MADE something straight from our hearts. It was a great way to welcome the first day of spring today. All that new creative energy bursting forth! Bring it on!
These four little pieces (all about 3.5" square) were pieces I made during the class showing them different techniques and just having some good old artsy fun myself! I figured I needed to share them with the word as well! Happy Spring! Now, go make some time to MAKE something fun...even if it's dinner!

Like An Alarm of Impending Doom...

A little over a year ago, I had a rare opportunity to take a few hours away from my newborn daughter and spend some much-needed time by myself. I went to the one place I knew would relax and rekindle me a bit - under the St. John's Bridge.

This is one of those days where I feel I could use another trip down there. Yes, Hazel is at her grandmother's house as I fight through an onslaught of duties and responsibilities that do not welcome small children (like working with hot wax).

I used 'Death Cab for Cuties' lyrics in the title because that is what my life seems to do to me. I start working on one project/responsibility only to then find others slipping in to my psyche like cracks in the foundation....pretty soon my head is filling up with too many things to do/think about/fret about.

But even with all these "to-do's" swirling around my head and heart, I try to remember that day under the bridge. warm. sunny. calm. the quiet of gentle whirs of trucks overhead and river currents below. the calm of just being. breathing. living. see, I feel better already.

This is where I admit my weaknesses

I have NEVER pretended to be a good cook or baker. On the contrary, I am completely at peace with my seemingly absent skills in the kitchen. So, when there is a week like this where I actually make things, I have to take notice. Ok, so this lovely little dish is of pistachio pudding...instant pudding. Yes, you read that right. But as I sat down to eat my tasty little instant dessert...well, it was so pretty that I had to share. Yes, it's not really cooking, but gosh darn it...it's GREEN!

These ARE actually homemade, but only included four ingredients...so again, simple. They are homemade teething biscuits for Hazel. And, I admit they taste pretty good (I had to make sure the quality was ok for the babe!) But who knows when or if I will ever make these again as it took about 2 months to get around to it in the first place.

I promise I will show some images of art soon...as soon as I actually get around to making some more.

Obsessive Creative Consumption

The weather was clear and sunny with a hint of warmth and that was all I needed to get a serious case of crafting on! I spent the day sewing while my daughter slept. I had been itching to sew for a long time, but did not have an area in my studio clean enough in which to do it. After, I got the area clean, there was no stopping me!

I made an array of cloth napkins, an oil cloth lunch bag for Hazel's food, and re-cycled a too short onesie into a little long shirt/dress with some scraps I had.
All that cleaning also allowed me to find what I thought was my long-lost box o' thread! Most of these have come from different second hand venues like Knittin' Kitten or garage sales. And I am a freak about having the right shade of contrasting thread, so I am constantly changing them..thus, I need a lot of colors!
Hazel and I also took several afternoon walks in the sun where I splurged on some fabulous funky flowers (the ferny plant in the back is a eucalyptus).
And I bought Amanda Blake Soule's book, "The Creative Family" at Broadway Books. I just discovered her blog, www.soulemama.com and I really love her approach to parenting and life!
And finally, I have to show off a photo of my babe in a new recycled tin frame from India that I just HAD to have. I'm not a photo frame type of gal normally, but I love this type of craft from India and the colors of it, so I couldn't say no.

I'm kind of relieved now that the rain has rolled in so I can sit back, take a break and enjoy my new creations/toys. And maybe sew just a little bit more....

In Like a Lion...

After initially struggling with motherhood those first few months, this is what I now lovingly look forward to each day; my babe, my Hazel. She's turned my world upside down and I'm still trying to make sense of it all, but at 11 months and counting, she is becoming this amazing little person of joys and smiles and babbles and exploration. Oh, and she's been walking for about a month now already! So, the house is in shambles with toys strewn everywhere!

I had visions of motherhood being this calm, blissful time of fruition to me. I'm having a baby at 33, surely, I'm going to have everything figured out. I'm going to be patient, logical, productive, confident, sure of myself and my life. It's all gonna rock.

11 months in and I realize just what a farce that thinking was. I'm hopelessly lost in this myriad of life and lessons. I am a vision of productivity, positive thoughts and peace one day. Then, as quick as the weather turns, I am confused, short-tempered, inpatient and struggling through the day like a dank fog.

This thinking leads to many places with me. Initially, I get pissed, jealous, angry at myself, unable to accept that I can't do it all. Luckily, most days, that passes and I get these quiet glimpses into calm thought about "well, if you want to go somewhere else, be someone else...what do you want?" Goddamn, if that isn't the trillion dollar question. I am shocked to the core that my now-almost-34 year old self, mother, artist, woman can't answer that question fully. But, through the haze, I am getting glimpses of what that might look like, and I only hope I have the bravery to push towards it, even if it's scary and new. Hopefully, I can harness this green and growing energy of spring to push me towards growing more into the mother I want to be for Hazel, and the woman I want to be for myself.